


muse

by erenyaeger



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 23:31:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6097496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erenyaeger/pseuds/erenyaeger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"...Aren’t muses usually beautiful?” Armin asked.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>  <i>“Yes.” Eren replied, staring into Armin’s eyes the whole time, and when Armin realized what Eren was implying his heart skipped a beat or two.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	muse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nueska](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nueska/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANA! Upon hearing that I tried to finish this... and well, to be quite frank I'm not really sure if it's finished. But I am sure that I'm more pleased with it that I have been, and I've found a good stopping point for it so I can share it. I hope your birthday is filled with nothing but all of the kindness and goodness you've sent out into the world, and here's a little eremin for you to enjoy on your special day (of course, based on the au you'd mentioned forever ago- I hope I did it justice in some way).

The day the school’s art teacher bought the art class to the volleyball team’s practice for figure drawing was the day Armin Arlert fell in love.

 

Well, maybe that was a little melodramatic. It certainly felt like it, though, especially the way it seemed like his entire body _jolted_ the first time he saw _him_.

 

While their coach was explaining the situation to the team and introducing them to the newcomers, Armin couldn’t help but feel his heart skip a beat when he locked eyes with what was possibly the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen.

 

His soft, tousled brown hair, vivid green eyes and beautiful brown skin were enough to make Armin weak in the knees. He looked like a model, Armin thought (he even had the angry model look down pat) and Armin wondered why the class wouldn’t just be drawing him.

 

He wondered if the boy could see the heat he felt in his cheeks, and he feared that maybe he could when the boy offered him a sly smile. He shyly averted his eyes, and although he had looked away he hadn’t stopped thinking about the exchange.

 

He ended up being horribly distracted for rest of practice, and he was crushed by the end of the afternoon when he realized that he would probably never see this boy again in the massiveness of their school.

 

At least he would be more on top of his game next time, he tried to console himself.

 

That was what he thought until the boy showed up again the next day, parked in the bleachers with his sketch pad and pencils readied. He seemed to be absent-mindedly scribbling, glancing up occasionally like he was searching-

 

_or maybe Armin only wanted him to be searching and he was really just looking to see if practice had started so he could continue his studies that weren’t at all as personal as Armin wanted them to be-_

 

-and Armin realized that he probably wouldn’t be able to be on top of his game again for however long this went on.

 

And as contrary as it might have seemed, he hoped it went on for a long time.

 

\--

 

Sometimes Armin would glance up when they were at a breaking point to see if Eren would look his way again.

 

Sometimes it seemed like he was.

 

Maybe Armin just wanted to believe that. They hadn’t quite ever again had an exchange quite like they had on that first day, and Armin beat himself up a little whenever it occurred to him that maybe if he had just worked up the courage to say something that afternoon then _maybe_ something more would have came from it.

 

Or not. And anyway, he wasn’t brave enough to try that much later. What would he even say? _Hi I’ve been thinking about you ever since you smiled at me a few weeks ago and you probably don’t even remember that because you’re gorgeous and I’m just a kid on an under-funded public-school volleyball team._

 

It didn’t stop him from holding out hope that maybe, just maybe Eren would catch his stare again one day.

 

One day.

 

That day, however, had been a particularly long day.

 

On top of an absolutely draining math test and a particularly rough collision during the day’s volley ball practice- Connie did apologize at least, and apologized profusely, although really it was Armin’s fault for getting so distracted by that gorgeous boy again- he was still dreading going home for dinner that evening. He couldn’t figure out why his Mother _insisted_ on inviting the Bodt’s over once a month for a cringe-worthy “get together” when he and Marco _really_ stopped having anything in common in the first grade. And he didn’t think that he could sit through another cringe worthy conversation about how their government system _definitely_ isn’t broken or anything and how “liberal propaganda” has poisoned their generation.

 

When he entered the house with an icepack on his head, hoping to play up the severity of the injury and possibly earn a pass away from the dreadful evening, his mother even set down the hors d’oeuvres she had been working on to look at her very weary son.

 

“Armin, honey, what on Earth happened to you?” She started as she washed her hands off, and Armin just smiled.

 

“It’s not much Ma… I just bumped into Connie and hit the floor kind of hard. They had me sit out of the rest of practice today. Coach said it could be a minor concussion but I feel fine…”

 

He softened his voice a little, hoping to convey he was indeed not fine enough to sit through an awful five hour dinner, and was wildly disappointed with the response he received.

 

“Goodness that must have been quite a fall. Well, that’ll be quite a story for the dinner table.”

 

Turning back to her cutting board, Mrs. Arlert continued her preparations. Armin knew he had to think fast. Think… what would he rather be doing on a Friday night… practice… that boy who draws in the bleachers _oh god he would much rather be_ doing _that boy but that didn’t feel particularly appropriate to be thinking about in the kitchen with his mother—_

 

The school art show was tonight.

 

Pulling out his phone, he dashed off a quick text to Connie.

 

_Remember when you said you owed me one earlier?_

 

“Actually, Ma, there was something I wanted to ask you about… remember how Coach was saying we should really spend more time together as a team?” Armin lied, and she bought it.

 

“Oh, yes. Go on?”

 

A buzz from his phone.

 

_Yeah?_

 

“Well uh… the school art show is tonight and Connie thought we could all go together as a team and you know, support the schools art program.”

 

_Can you come and pick me up?_

 

“Oh… well, does it really have to be tonight? And I’m not sure you should be driving with a possible concussion…” His mother mulled the idea over, and Armin’s stomach sunk a little. He hoped Connie could pull through for him.

 

He was relieved when his phone finally buzzed again.

_Yeah sure when and where?_

 

“Connie said he’d come get me. And tonight is really the only night it’s up...” He only half-lied, because the next morning before it gets taken down that afternoon really wouldn’t help him.

 

“Well… I suppose it is important to support your peers. Alright, sure. I’m surprised Marco isn’t going.”

 

“Yeah.” Armin shrugged with a small smile.

 

_My house, soon as possible._

 

“We’ll miss you at dinner.” She offered. “Take lots of pictures for me, okay?”

 

Another buzz.

 

_Gotcha. I’ll go and get Sasha and then we’ll be right over._

 

“Definitely. Thanks mom.”

 

* * *

 

 

Connie pulled up right as Armin finished the fastest shower and clothing change of his life. His mother called up the stairs to tell him right as Connie texted that he was in the driveway.

 

Grateful that Connie managed to arrive before their guests did, Armin skipped down the stairs, and called out a goodbye to his parents and his grandpa before making his great escape into the backseat of Connie’s car.

 

“You’re a life saver.” Armin grinned, and Connie grinned back in the rearview mirror.

 

“Hey man, no problem. I could have came and gotcha even if I didn’t knock you onto the gym floor… still sorry about that.”

 

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I would have driven myself but Ma thinks I shouldn’t be driving. I probably shouldn’t have played up the wounded warrior thing as much as I did.” Armin smiled sheepishly, and then turned to Sasha as Connie started pulling out of the driveway. “Hi Sasha.”

 

“Hi Armin!” The brunette greeted cheerfully, craning her neck a little to see him. “So what was with the super cryptic text messages?”

 

“Oh, sorry.” Armin offered sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to make it seem that intense. I guess I just feel like I’m gonna go crazy if I have to make five hours of small talk with someone I have nothing in common with after everything else today, you know?”

 

Sasha laughed.

 

“God, your folks are still on about you guys needing to hang out more?” She asked, and Armin nodded.

 

“Yeah. I mean, I think they mean well, but I just… don’t really have anything left to say, you know? It’s been a really long time since we were four and now we’re kind of just in different places. Anyway, I just told them we were going to the art show for a team-building thing.” Armin shrugged, and Connie hit the break abruptly. He was lucky they were at a stop sign anyway.

 

“ _Shit_ that’s tonight! Thanks for reminding me man, I almost totally forgot.” Connie exclaimed, smoothing back into a steady speed as they started back down at the road. “Hey maybe that’s what we can do tonight, Sasha. I mean, if you actually wanted us to take you there, Armin.”

 

“Yeah!” Armin smiled. Admittedly it would be nice to see what the other students were working on.

 

And admittedly, the reason the art show had crossed his mind in the first place might have been because of that gorgeous boy who kept coming to their practices for his figure drawing assignment.

 

Armin wondered why he was the only one left out of the art class that continued coming. Maybe he was a slower worker and hadn’t finished the assignment. Maybe he was a perfectionist and didn’t feel like he’d gotten to a point where he could turn it in.

 

He kind of wondered if he would get to see any of his work while they were there. Then he realized he didn’t even know the boy’s name and would probably struggle trying to look for it.

 

“…Connie?” Armin asked after he’d zoned out for a few minutes, interjecting in his and Sasha’s conversation.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you know that boy’s name? Er, the one that comes to our practices to draw.”

 

“Oh, Eren?” Connie asked. “Eren Yaeger? Guy who always looks kind of angry with the motorcycle jacket?”

 

The name ‘Yaeger’ sounded familiar, and he almost wondered if this was the same Yaeger that Marco’s friend Jean always complained about “cock blocking” him from that girl with the red scarf in their third period history course.

 

“Yeah, I guess that’s him… How do you know it’s a motorcycle jacket?” Armin raised a brow, and Connie grinned.

 

“He rides one.” Connie grinned, and Armin looked even more perplexed than before before Connie elaborated.

 

“We hang out sometimes. He gets a bad rep for having a “bad attitude”, but I think all that means is that he’s pretty outspoken about his views on stuff and he’s really unapologetic about it. He’s not a bad guy, it’s just that he’s kind of intense and I think that kind of freaks people out sometimes.”

 

Connie turned to face him when they were at a stoplight, almost like he was searching his eyes for something, and then added, “I feel like you might actually get along with him, though.”

 

“Oh? Why do you think that?” Armin asked, now even more curious, and Connie just grinned.

 

“Dunno, just a feeling. He might be there tonight, anyway. Maybe you’ll find out.”

 

Armin kind of hoped he would.

 

They pulled into the parking lot shortly after the exchange, and Armin found himself thinking that there was actually a pretty good turn out for the night. More than even showed up to their games, actually. He wondered if Eren would show up to their games, and it dawned upon him that maybe tonight he could invite him to one if things really did go well and if Armin didn’t choke on his own words before he even got them out of his mouth—

 

 _thinking like that will ensure that you choke on your own words before you can get them out of your mouth, Arlert, and anyway he probably doesn’t even remember you and that would be weird to ask anyway, that would be coming on a little strong wouldn’t it, never mind the fact that he shows up to every practice that definitely doesn’t mean anything_ —

 

Forcing himself to think of something different, he fund himself thinking that the school somehow looked so much friendlier now that it was adorned with so many colorful works of art.

 

As they walked through the side entrance closest to where they had parked Armin kind of wondered why the halls couldn’t always look this inviting, especially if his school always had students in the art classes. Before he could really look at anything Connie tapped him on the shoulder, and Armin snapped out of his daze and turned to meet his gaze.

 

“Hey Armin- Sasha kind of wanted to hit the bake sale before all the good desserts are gone. I think the pizza will keep coming for a while if you wanted to look around first, though.” Connie explained, and Armin nodded.

 

“I think I will take a look around first; I don’t wanna hold you guys up by getting distracted every two feet. Maybe just text me when you’re ready to go?” The blonde suggested, and Connie raised a brow.

 

“Are you sure? We came together, it’s really okay if you want us to hold up or come back for you. ” He offered, and Armin nodded.

 

“It’s okay. I think I kind of crashed your date night, anyway. Don’t worry about me, I’m just glad to be getting a breath of fresh air.” _And it might be better if I go on my weird mission to find some of Eren’s stuff and mourn over what will probably never be on my own anyway—_

 

“Alright, sounds good then. See you in a bit Armin!”

 

“Catch you later Armin!”

 

They both waved and then set out their different ways, Connie and Sasha down the hall to the bake-sale table and Armin to the beginning of the exhibition near the administrative offices.

 

Or at least, he tried to before a massive, imposing, gorgeous and vivid canvas in the middle of the foyer caught his eye.

 

It was big and beautiful and demanded his full attention, and Armin stopped in the middle of the floor to admire it.

 

The loosely painted figure looked almost like an angel in flight, maybe reaching for the sun or some other celestial body, and Armin wouldn’t have thought anything of the figure’s blonde bangs and bob-cut being similar to his own at all until he noticed a faint scrawl of a “7” across the cloth covering figure’s chest.

 

That was his jersey number.

 

Rubbing his eyes in disbelief he looked again, trying to determine if maybe his brain had read those lines incorrectly, and when he looked again the number only appeared to be even more apparent.

 

He glanced up at the face again, and then realized the sphere the figure was reaching for might have been a volleyball. And the figure might have been him.

 

The only problem with this line of reasoning was how someone could have possibly interpreted him to look so ethereal.

 

He must have been standing there, staring wide-eyed for a decent amount of time before a voice shook him out of his thoughts.

 

“This one is my favourite piece, actually. It’s probably the best I’ve ever done.”

 

Armin spun around quickly, startled, and then even more-so when he was face to face with the boy he’d only seen from across the gym for the past few months.

 

 _Fuck_ he was even more beautiful up close. Armin was doomed.

 

“I-is that me?” Armin blurted out, ungracefully as ever, and the brunette smiled sheepishly.

 

“It might be. Depends if you like it.”

 

“…I love it.” Armin offered quietly, and then kicked himself for being so forward.

 

“Good. Because it’s definitely you.” The brunette grinned fully, and Armin finally found the courage to return his smile.

 

“It looks nothing like me though; it’s much more beautiful.” Armin commented, and Eren frowned.

 

“Hey, don’t talk like that about my muse.” Eren chided gently, and Armin blushed.

 

“Y-your what?”

 

“My muse. You know, it’s someone that inspires you—”

 

“No, I mean I’m familiar with the term, but… do you really mean that?”

 

“Do I look like I don’t?” Eren raised a brow, and as Armin looked into his eyes he was even more confused when he determined that the brunette looked completely genuine. That, and from the way Connie described him he didn’t seem like someone who would beat around the bush.

 

“No… I mean, it’s not you. You look serious, I just… can’t imagine why you would be serious about something like that. Aren’t muses usually beautiful?” Armin asked.

 

“Yes.” Eren replied, staring into Armin’s eyes the whole time, and when Armin realized what Eren was implying his heart skipped a beat or two.

 

“Y-you… I think you need to get your eyes checked.” Armin murmured breathlessly, and Eren didn’t flinch.

 

“My vision’s twenty-twenty.”

 

“… This is the first time anyone has ever implied that I’m beautiful.” Armin said, and Eren’s eyes widened.

 

“I knew people were dense but I didn’t think it was that bad.” Eren frowned, and Armin laughed a full and ringing laugh.

 

“I have moments like that every day if we’re being honest.” Armin replied when he finally caught his breath, and Eren found himself beaming.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” Armin replied, his full grin finally settling into a soft smile.

 

“… So I’m really your muse?” Armin asked again, selfishly, wanting to hear it, and Eren delivered.

 

“Only one I’ve ever had. You were the only person who’s ever stuck out to me like that, really. It was like… when I saw you, I just knew you were the one. You were perfect.” Eren shrugged nonchalantly, and Armin squeaked. He suddenly hated how pale he was, and how easily must be to notice the deep redness in his cheeks and touching his ears—

 

“You can’t mean that.” Armin half-giggled and half-whispered, an unfamiliar feeling twisting in the pit of his stomach.

 

“I do, actually. I’m not in the habit of making shit up to make people feel better. You’re just… kind of everything I was looking for. I just didn’t know it until I saw you.” Eren explained, as simply as he would say that the sky is blue, and Armin _knew_ he just meant as a muse but he wanted to pretend that it meant more.

 

And Connie was right about Eren being a little intense, and Armin was right about maybe falling in love that first day he saw him.

 

Maybe those two facts were somehow interconnected. Armin had a sneaking suspicion that they were.

 

When Armin was silent, Eren wondered if he hadn’t come off a little harsh. He didn’t know why he cared, really. Usually he had no problem letting people think he was angry, angry at the world, angry at everyone in it… but Armin seemed like he might be an exception to everyone.

 

“But if I was lying,” Eren started again, “would I really go as far as to sit in a gym that smells like years worth of dirty laundry like every day after school so that I could see you?”

 

It was a lame attempt at a joke, but it made Armin laugh a full, genuine laugh. It wasn’t like he was trying to swallow down the feeling of his heart speeding up so fast he thought he might just die.

 

At least it would be a good way to go.

 

“I don’t suppose anyone would really want to go _that_ far for a joke. Not unless they were really invested, anyway.” Armin finally replied, and Eren caught his eyes once Armin caught his breath.

 

“I’m definitely invested in this, but it’s _really_ not a joke. I promise.”

 

And Eren looked as solemn as someone swearing under oath, and for about two seconds that gave Armin the courage to do something that was probably one of the most impulsive things he had ever done.

 

“You don’t need to come to the gym if you wanted to draw me, you know.” He offered, a little nervous once the words left his mouth because _god that probably sounded so thirsty or easy or_ something _—_

 

“I like watching you in motion,” Eren started, and Armin’s heart almost sunk when he continued because _oh god maybe Eren wasn’t that interested at all_ , “but I would love to see you somewhere other than the gym. And maybe more often, too.”

 

It would seem that Armin’s moment of bravery paid off.

 

“Yeah?” Armin asked with a shy smile, and Eren nodded.

 

“Yeah.” Eren replied, and they shared another moment a lot like the first one they’d ever shared.

 

Armin wasn’t going to blow it this time.

 

“I suppose it would help if you had my number? You know, to coordinate and stuff.” Armin clarified at the end because god that sounded desperate and he really was not good at this his lack of experience was definitely showing—

 

“Or since I’ll have it anyway we could just talk sometimes, too.” Eren grinned, and Armin stopped still and wondered if that was what he thought it was.

 

Honestly, it probably wasn’t. But admittedly, getting to know Eren any better at all did sound absolutely wonderful.

 

“I’d like that.” Armin offered softly, and Eren reached for his phone.

 

“Great. Here, you can tell me the number and I’ll text you.”

 

The exchange was a brief and exhilarating one, and Armin was almost surprised when Eren followed through and a text from the other boy did actually show up in his phone.

 

 _Are you doing anything after this_ it read, and Armin’s heart was almost pounding out of his chest all over again. Eren was way better at this than he was, if they were even really going through with whatever _this_ was at all.

 

It really seemed like they were.

 

“Not particularly.” Armin offered when he peeked back up at Eren through his bangs with a shy and hopeful smile. He could text Connie that there had been a change of plans. This would be worth it.

 

“Have you ever been on a motorcycle?” Eren asked, and Armin shook his head.

 

“No… I wouldn’t be opposed to trying, though.” The blonde offered, despite the fact that the idea of going that fast with so little to protect him scared him out of his wits just a little. That fear, however, was not nearly enough to outweigh his excitement at the prospect of getting to wrap his arms around Eren’s waist and press his cheek into his back—

 

“Great. I’ll need you to humor me for a little while longer because I kind of wanted to enjoy the show a little more, but after this I’ll show you what a joy ride looks like.”

 

“I’m looking forward to it. All of it, I mean.” Armin clarified, just as excited to see just what else Eren had been working on so that he could try and pretend he could get in his head.

 

“Tell me more about your work.” Armin prompted gently, testing how a light touch to the brunette’s arm would be received, and when Eren linked arms with him he was both surprised and pleased by how easily the contact was welcomed.

 

“Where do I start?” Eren asked, starting to lead the blonde down the hallway, out to where even more work was on display.

 

“Anywhere. Everywhere.” Armin tried, and Eren laughed.

 

“We’ll be on about this all night.” The brunette warned him, and Armin thought that somehow the notion was more enticing than it was threatening.

 

His suspicions had been right- it had been the most fun that Armin had had with anyone in a while.

 

Eren made him feel like he was the only person in the entire building that mattered. It wasn’t a feeling that he was used to. But Eren’s careful, focused gaze on him as he spoke made him feel like he was important. And as the night went on the subject of their conversation shifted from Eren’s art to… well, everything. And Eren’s careful, thoughtful responses to his questions made him feel like his words actually had weight. Maybe even almost as much as Eren’s responses did.

 

Eren was just so candid about everything, definitely not one to pull punches, and although Armin supposed that maybe for someone who didn’t see eye to eye to Eren it might be overwhelming to him it just felt refreshing. Maybe Armin even saw it as some sort of validation, seeing as Eren somehow just kept saying things that he himself had been dying to say for years and had been too afraid to. It was almost like Eren had read his palm and was telling him all of the things that he kept bottled up, only instead of just telling him flatly he was passionately, ferociously supporting him. It was intense. It was cathartic. Armin felt frighteningly alive.

 

It was a pleasant change from the monotonous, predictable small talk that he’d usually be engaging in the second Friday of the month- Eren was just much better company all around, it seemed.

 

He’d completely lost track of time when Eren set his hand overtop of Armin’s, which had been resting on the brunette’s forearm since when they first linked arms.

 

“Hey. They’re probably gonna kick everyone out soon and then the parking lot will be fucked. Since we’re at the end, do you wanna go now while we can still get out easy?”

 

“Yeah. Let’s.” Armin agreed, and Eren led him out of the building to the parking lot.

 

“You’re gonna have to promise me not to tell anyone that I wasn’t wearing my helmet this round, seeing as I only really carry one around.” Eren started, and Armin’s eyes widened.

 

“That… can’t be safe.” Armin bit his lip, and Eren shrugged.

 

“It’s not. But it would be worse if you got fucked up than if I did. I’m already half way there anyway.” Eren offered non-chalantly, and Armin squeezed his arm.

 

“I don’t think you’re fucked up. Even if you were, though, I wouldn’t want you to get worse.” He offered softly, and Eren just grinned.

 

“Just promise you’ll visit me if I end up in the hospital.” He almost laughed, pulling Armin towards what must be his bike. “And anyway, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

 

“…I do.” Armin smiled sheepishly. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

“How ‘bout we just don’t go really far today, then. It’ll minimize the risk.” Eren suggested, and that seemed to be the best solution Armin could imagine for the time.

 

“That sounds like it should be okay. Do you usually go really far?”

 

“Not usually. Why, do you want to?” Eren asked, handing the helmet to Armin, and Armin took it from him.

 

“Sometimes I want to get out of here. Go somewhere else far, far away. There are better places out there.”

 

“Well, if you tell me where they are I’ll take you one day. We can go see them together. Okay?” Eren asked, and Armin felt himself swooning.

 

“Promise?” He asked quietly, fearing maybe it was too soon, and instead Eren just took his chin in his hand and caught his eyes.

 

“Promise.”

 

It was intimate in a way Armin couldn’t place, and so he stopped trying to place it and let himself drink in the feeling while the moment lasted, all the way up until Eren decided to show him how to get up onto the motorcycle for the first time.

 

And even as they drove off the feeling lingered, or maybe it grew stronger now that it was combined with the feeling of Armin’s arms wrapped tight around Eren’s waist. He’d hold on tight to all of it.

 


End file.
